Pirates of the Caribbean – 2 Minute Primer
by JaxLass
Summary: AKA Girl Meets Pirate. 1st of 3. A quick & quirky narrative overview of the CotBP for laughs. Warning: Must know your trivia or at least the script to get it.


**Pirates of the Caribbean – 2 Minute Primer.**

**Curse of the Black Pearl**

Boy meets girl. Thanks for the nice medallion, Will!

Girl meets pirate. Keep the bloody corset!

Boy meets pirate. You cheated!

Pirate meets other pirates in cell. Here, doggie!

Pirate meets cursed pirates in cell. More dog bones.

Girl kidnapped by cursed pirates. Can you say 'Parley'?

Boy finds navy won't help save girl. You ruined my map!

Boy finds imprisoned pirate won't help either. Try the navy again.

Boy tells pirate he will free him. No thanks, I'd rather hang.

Boy tells pirate who his father is. Anything for an old friend's son.

Pirate shows boy how to commandeer navy ship. Great fun!!

Boy shows pirate how he can be an embarrassment on ships. Avast!!??!!

Pirate shows boy fun things to do on ship. Watch out for that boom!!

Pirate shows boy how to treat scorned women. Ouch, that had to hurt!

Boy shows pirate how he can be an embarrassment in public. Another rum, please.

Boy shows pirate how well he can eavesdrop in public. What is a stick?

Girl meets cursed pirate captain. I have a dress just your size.

Pirate hires crew for ship. Women on ships are bad luck.

Pirate shows boy how to treat angry women. Ouch, that had to hurt, too!

Girl meets cursed pirate crew in moonlight. Serious loss of appetite.

Pirate takes ship through dangerous waters. Dead men tell no tales.

Pirate takes boy to treasure cave. I am not obsessed with gold!

Cursed pirate captain tries to sacrifice girl. Long-winded speech. Yawn.

Pirate tells boy to wait for right moment. You can trust me, mate.

Boy clouts pirate with oar and saves girl. Ouch! Bloody ingrate!

Pirate meets cursed pirate captain and undead crew. Parlilou, parsnip, partner...

Boy escapes with girl. Who cares about leverage?

Pirate meets apple. Yum!

Pirate meets cursed monkey. Where's my pistol?

Boy tries to outrun cursed pirate ship. Good luck!

Girl tries to outmaneuver cursed pirate ship. She reads too much fiction.

Pirate put in cursed ship's brig. Apparently there's a leak.

Pirate ship faces off with cursed pirate ship. Load the silverware?

Pirate escapes brig. Apparently there's a hole.

Boy searches for medallion in flooding cabin. No one likes a gloating monkey.

Boy survives scuttled ship and boards cursed ship. Don't do anything stupid.

Boy attempts bargain with wily cursed pirate captain. Like that.

Girl walks plank. So much for bargaining.

Pirate walks plank. So much for leverage.

Girl meets pirate on island and gets him _very_ drunk. Why is the rum gone?

Girl builds huge bonfire on island. But why is the rum gone?

Pirate agrees to help navy ambush cursed pirates. Oh, did I forget to mention they can't die?

Pirate gets girl locked in cabin on ship. She burned all the rum!

Pirate palms gold piece in front of boy and cursed pirate captain. By all means kill the whelp.

Cursed pirates sneak on board navy ship and attack. Boo!

Pirate grabs a pirate's sword and tosses it to boy. Are you calling me stupid?

Cursed pirates battling with navy officers on ship. Give me back my wig, you pirate!

Pirate skewered by cursed pirate captain. Ouch! Now who's gonna sew that tear in my shirt?

Pirate cursed with stolen gold coin. Hey, how do you like my new look?

Pirate getting kicked and punched by cursed pirate captain. Hey, you're cheating!

Boy joins girl in fighting more cursed pirates. KABLOOMM!!

Pirate cuts hand and tosses coin to boy near chest. Please don't do anything _else_ stupid!

Cursed pirate captain tries to shoot girl. You abused my hospitality - twice, wench!

Pirate fires shot. Cursed pirate captain happy when curse ends. Immortality is a pain.

Cursed pirate crew fighting on ships not happy when curse ends. Mortality can hurt!

Boy loses girl which pirate points out. How well can you sing?

Pirate loses ship which boy points out. How well can you tread water?

Pirate about to be hanged in the public square. Immortality looks really good now.

Boy professes love to girl. Does he know what happened on the island?

Boy saves defeated pirate from noose. That's got to be the worse pirate.

Pirate says farewell to girl. Next time I'll hide the rum.

Pirate says farewell to boy. You swing a mean oar, lad.

Pirate falls off high cliff into ocean. Can _any_ of these navy officers swim?

Girl kisses boy - insulting pirates everywhere. Nice hat.

Pirate swims to ship and is rescued from water. So that's where I left me hat!

Pirate takes helm and sings. Drink up me hearties, yo ho. Is he thinking of that island?


End file.
